"I am a victim of rape, and it brought back all those helpless feelings like saying NO was not enough and that I was going to have to get vaccinated if I wanted to keep my career..."
An extract: Submission to the NZ Royal Commission Covid Inquiry from New Zealand Teachers Speaking Out with Science (NZTSOS) (co-authored with Kathryn Pick)
The above quote is one of many heartbreaking comments collected recently from mandated NZ public sector workers. Over the next few days, I’m going to post extracts from Submissions (inc PDFs of the whole reports) to the New Zealand Royal Commission Covid Inquiry Phase 2. “lessons learned” Te Tira Ārai Urutā - Phase Two. [The deadline was the end of last month]. Thank you to those who have already shared their submissions, including this excellent one from
. The two main research reports that I co-authored are on behalf of the New Zealand Teachers Speaking Out with Science (NZTSOS) and the Nurses Collective NZ (previously Nurses for Freedom). Later, I will post my own (very short) Submission. As I’ve written before, this is not about expecting anything from the Commissioners (although I’m an optimist at heart), but rather about ensuring this important evidence is ‘out there’ and on the public record for future generations. Kia kaha to for his phenomenal work in this area.
The first extract (and PDF - see the end of this post) is from NZTSOS. There’s a reason for this, which I’ll write about next week. Their Submission is in the form of a Research Report which is 82 pages long (hence only the extracts here!) The research was based on the results from an anonymous mixed-methods online survey which was shared via the networks of the mandated teachers and the email database of their incorporated society. ** NB Further publications are planned, please get in touch if you have suggestions or support to offer (NZTSOS and I are entirely independent and unfunded). You can Buy me a Coffee here. Thank you **
Introduction:
[…] Our submission, in the form of this report, presents results from a recent online survey of our members. The NZTSOS is an incorporated society, run entirely by volunteers. […] Survey outcomes revealed evidence of the physical, professional and emotional impact of the covid era, including the months before and during the vaccination mandates on teachers during the period February 2021 and October 2022. Some of these harms are ongoing, four years later.
The teachers who participated in this survey are committed to Te Tiriti o Waitangi Partnership, professional learning, and building professional relationships with learners, whanau, colleagues and communities. We strive to create learning focused cultures that deliver meaningful and engaging learning experiences for everyone, using effective teaching strategies, assessment practices, and feedback to support our students’ progress. As professional educators, we typically plan lessons by applying differentiation to meet the needs of diverse leaners, teach, assess, report, manage classrooms, collaborate with other professionals, engage with whanau, participate in ongoing professional development, and contribute to all aspects of school life.
The narrative analysis of the responses led the researchers to identify seven broad themes that were recurrent within the participants’ responses. These have been drawn upon within this report, under the following headings:
1. Emotional and Physical harms
2. Legal and Financial Issues
3. Propaganda and Censorship
4. Role Models, Student Relationships and Impact on others,
5. Wasted Expertise
6. Unprofessional Behaviour
7. Resilience in Adversity
Before the narrative analysis, the report begins with an overview of the participants ethnicity, location, age, gender and other aspects of their lives, which we believe to be representative of the teachers impacted by the covid era mandates.
Educators are humble architects and facilitators of society—shaping minds, nurturing potential, and laying the foundation for future generations. Our influence extends far beyond any classroom, whether virtually or kanohi ki te kanohi. Every lesson delivered, every conversation held, every word of encouragement given, every belief shown to a learner, sends a ripple across families, communities, and nations. The motive we all have in common is how we never stop wanting the best for our students. In a world navigating rapid change and complex challenges, investing in educators is an act of collective foresight and care for the generations to come. There has always been a critical need to protect, support, and retain the wealth of wisdom and experience educators can offer. Yet when an estimated 8000 Kiwi educators were removed from our profession due to mandate policies—educators who share the same aspirations, dedication, and care - New Zealand suffered a heavy loss. Our value, experience, and years of committed service were lost to the sector during a time when tamariki and rangitahi needed stability, guidance, and experience to navigate the physical and emotional trauma that the covid era policy decisions presented. As one young child said to his teacher, “Where did you go? The teachers at school said you were sick and that you wouldn’t come back. Why did they lie to us?” This report provides some background about ‘where’ those educators went, why those lies were told, how we were impacted and why many of us are still suffering ‘those covid years’.
This report ends by stating ten recommendations from NZTSOS for the Commissioners to consider, namely:
1. A formal Government apology needs to be published for all education staff negatively impacted by the mandates, and full unconditional re-registrations offered.
2. A formal non-discriminatory policy should safeguard future risks of discrimination.
3. A comprehensive, independent review is required of the role of the educational bodies and any future workforce status requirements such as vaccination policy.
4. Investigations should begin into the adverse event reporting from teachers who received one or more doses of the vaccine.
5. A confirmation of the respect of informed consent protocols when aiming to communicate any health interventions within the workforce.
6. The rights of teachers to freedom of thought, speech, opinion, conscience and religion regarding vaccinations.
7. A full review of the ethics of interventions via national and international Behavioural Insights Teams, including private consultants.
8. Accountability measures for the failed duty of care towards unvaccinated teachers by regulatory bodies.
9. Accountability for the role of the Ministry of Education in failures to take reasonable steps in accommodating unvaccinated teachers during and after the mandates.
Who are NZTSOS?
NZTSOS started as an informal group of concerned education staff who came together via social media and face-to-face during the covid era. The widespread censorship presented significant challenges for the group to stay connected. NZTSOS was formed and became an incorporated society in October 2021. It represented over 1,200 education employees who were adversely impacted by the Labour Government’s Education Workers Vaccination Mandate Order. Nearly four years after the group’s formation, many members remain closely connected and share ongoing difficulties and help each other with finding solutions. Members of NZTSOS were invited to participate in this survey via a personal email from the group’s database and also via public and private social media channels. The survey gathered quantitative and qualitative data, with responses received from 140 teachers (not all participants answered every question).
The Emotional and Physical Harms
The stand-down process itself for teachers was abrupt, dehumanising, and deeply unjust. One day, we were fully engaged in our roles—teaching, leading, contributing as valued professionals—and the next, on November 16th, 2021, we were no longer permitted onsite. This sudden absence was jarring—no farewell, no opportunity to prepare, process or explain, just an immediate removal that left a gaping silence. That silence spoke volumes. It invited speculation, stirred discomfort, and became a symbol of something far more painful: quiet condemnation. Without a word spoken, labels like selfish, non-compliant, dangerous, and even criminal were subtly and sometimes openly attached to their names. Spurred on by powerful and divisive media messaging, the right to keep personal beliefs, health status, and values private and confidential was stripped away and replaced with a web of shame and stigma.
Powerful but concealed forces ensured truth was suppressed. For instance, a teacher who posted a British Medical Journal article on social media about a Pfizer whistleblower led to an instant ban. There was no space for discussion or voices of mandated staff. Colleagues supportive of the Government’s policy effectively enforced it, encouraging coercion. Conversations were shut down in an atmosphere of silence and fear. Rather than solidarity during a time of perceived emergency, those teachers who were mandated out of their jobs faced isolation and discrimination.
Part of the shock experienced by teachers was because by our nature and professionalism, we are largely apolitical within school environments. We do not share personal political views and rarely speak openly about deeply held beliefs—especially when it comes to contentious social issues. As a result, students, families, and even colleagues were often unaware of any educator’s position until the moment they failed to return. Their unexpected absence became a public declaration of something usually kept private—creating confusion, discomfort, and in some cases, unwarranted judgement from those who, perhaps through no fault of their own, did not understand the complexity behind the decisions made.
To further compound the stress and distress, government-issued warnings stated that any uncompliant teachers caught onsite would face police involvement. This seemed like an irrational, extreme and intimidating threat toward professionals whose lifelong role had been one of care, trust, and contribution. The irony of this was not lost on the many educators who were also parents: allowed to enter school grounds in their capacity as a parent but forbidden from stepping foot onsite as a teacher. The message was clear—they were no longer welcome in the role that had once defined them.
This process created confusion, anguish, and disruption throughout school communities—none more glaringly obvious than for the children. Students were left wondering, “Where is my teacher?” or “Why did they leave without saying goodbye?” For many young learners, the sudden loss of a trusted adult brought feelings of abandonment, anxiety, and sadness—emotions they couldn’t easily process.
Participants reported how they and their colleagues, were instructed by senior management not to discuss any aspect of the mandates. This enforced silence around sudden departures left a gap not only in staffing, but in trust, connection, and emotional safety for the very people schools are meant to protect and value most.
Many respondents captured the depth of this traumatic experience:
“I was ignored by the majority of staff once they realised my position. I was not farewelled but left with a bunch of crying students (and me) to say some goodbyes. All but two staff members never spoke to me again. Overall, it broke me.”
“It was not only ludicrous, but also very upsetting to be told I was fit to work one day but too dangerous to be at school the next day because that was the day Jacinda, and her team decided I had to be injected if I wanted to work in the education sector. The resulting ostracism and isolation were hugely traumatic for me. I have still not fully recovered from the emotional and mental harm resulting from the mandates. I'm still angry that the government had the audacity to implement the mandates and that they encouraged so much division and separatism in our communities.”
“I was in a deep state of depression most days leading up to the final day of work. I would go home and lock myself in my room, crying myself to sleep. I lost the majority of my friends, and few colleagues understood my reasoning. Some tried to borderline coerce me into getting the jab. I fell out with my brother, who fully believed I was a terrible person for not getting vaccinated. It was all just horrible.”
“I was treated like a leper, one staff member told the rest of the staff that I wasn't vaccinated, we had morning tea in the school atrium, every single staff member stood by the food table and waited for me to sit down, then everyone sat on the opposite side of the hall to me. Also, another staff member who always worked with me after lunch to put the reading books away, stopped and no longer came in to help me. I also had to remove my daughter from the school she was attending as the teachers at her school were making the students raise their hands if they weren't vaccinated, her friends started to question her about her status too.”
“Lost some friends. Had a teacher loudly mock me about not getting vaccinated, nothing was done or said to her by others/management, to stop her, including on Facebook. She had children’s whanau on her fb page and stated I was a teacher at her centre. No apology. I couldn't cope and was sent home because I was so upset.”
“I experienced discrimination and no longer have contact with a lot of former colleagues. I was so traumatised by the experience that for nearly a year I cried every time I drove past a school, and to this day I have not been back on any school premises. That is after more than 40 years of being in schools every working day. The mandate seriously impacted my life negatively, mainly because my work in schools was a calling and painfully difficult to walk away from. I am still hurting that I couldn't say goodbye to my students and their families.”
“After 6 years teaching at a local school, all teachers blocked me in this community and (I) was blacklisted from teaching. Extreme discrimination and isolated. Deeply depressed, the dark night of the soul.”
“Shunned by colleagues. Wider family did not want contact [with me] … Family was stressed. Outcast by society… All around a terrible time.”
“I was medically retired in the end… to this day not a single colleague talks to me, I was dropped from all social media by them all and have been treated as an outcast since. Head office handled the matter very professionally, but my centre colleagues were rude, obnoxious, mean, hurtful and united in their disdain for my views, and decision. They also tainted the relationships I had built up with parents which was VERY unprofessional.”
“I lost friends and colleagues due to my stance. It was appalling. I was accused of being akin to a murderer.”
“I experienced from the school I worked at discrimination, and they thought I was a health and safety violation being near them. My rights were violated, and it was disgusting how they all treated me.”
“I wrote to my principal asking for free counselling support to help deal with the vitriol and was able to get two sessions. As Principal's deputy during the busy exam period, I felt obligated to continue work right up to the last day and not put extra pressure on others. My principal wrote a letter to the Government asking (if I could) get a work exemption but as far as I know he never got a response. I broke down in front of my students when I told them I could no longer teach them because I was considered toxic and unsafe. One day I was healthy; the next I was unsafe to be around. I lost close friends and family relationships during this time. My sister told her children in front of me that "your auntie wants to die."
The impact of the mandates on teachers extended far beyond the loss of employment. For many, the consequences deeply affected their personal lives—fracturing relationships, straining family dynamics, and severing longstanding community connections. Teachers who had once felt secure in their professional identity suddenly found themselves alienated not only from their workplaces, but from close friends, extended whānau, and even immediate family. The disintegration of trust, belonging, and social connection left many in a prolonged state of grief and disbelief. The intense pain reported by respondents in this survey was not only emotional but existential; marked by a sense of abandonment, displacement, and identity loss. The psychological and emotional impact of the mandate continues to reverberate for many, resulting in a complex and enduring struggle. The following are examples drawn directly from the narratives shared:
“I lost EVERYTHING. Mental health, 25+ yrs at ECE job, volunteer work, friends and family. Still alone, working for myself.”
“I was stopped from going to my father's funeral by a hostile sister, vaccinated only allowed. This devastated me. Was put on antidepressants…”
“My relationship ended as my partner could not understand why I didn’t want to get the jab. Some of my family members couldn’t understand my decision and alienated me.”
“I lost all bar one of my friends - most importantly I lost my best friend of over 40 years…”
“I was on a work visa and [my whole family’s right to be in NZ depended on my job. It would have been impossible to get any other sponsorship at that time, and our budget was so tight that if we were deported we would have not been able to pay for the tickets back to our country let alone make a living there as they were in similar conditions….[…] we were all deeply stigmatised by the vax pass - from getting an ice cream to remaining in a school sports team. […] I teach science, I was given horrible looks and comments when I started suggesting that things were off…Since the pandemic, including the madness of the mandates, I've been depressed, frustrated and full of hate”
“My husband watched my daughter (also a teacher) and me cry on an almost daily basis as I never thought my 40+ year career would end based on a vaccine. My own children had to have 2 shots or their jobs were to be terminated. An awful time! As I didn't have a vaccine passport, I was unable to book into a motel, enter a cafe or partake in my weekly gym sessions. I was so angry, but more than that, I was so very disappointed at how easily those with vaccine passports thought all this was OK.”
“When the mandates were announced I broke down into hysterical tears and my mum immediately called me to make sure I was ok. I felt overwhelmed, disrespected and like I was being raped of my choice. I am a victim of rape, and it brought back all those helpless feelings like saying NO was not enough and that I was going to have to get vaccinated if I wanted to keep the career I had just finished studying and also pay off my loan.”
“I experienced a great deal of grief following the mandate in that every time I drove past one of my local schools, I felt sick and knew that I was unable to even walk onto the property without the police being called. This was especially hurtful in regard to the Primary school and High school where I had attended growing up - I was no longer able to go where I had been welcomed all my life.”
“I didn't get a chance to talk to my colleagues or my students about it, apart from with a very select few. Many friends and family members were cruel in their comments and actions because of my decision. Someone I would have considered as one of my best friends shut her door in my face when she learned I had been mandated.”
“People treated me like something disgusting. Being unable to access premises or shops, hairdressers etc., was humiliating and brought about a whole range of other stress factors. All of the associated build up of stress finally culminated in a SCAD myocardial infarction. The reasons for SCAD are still unclear, but stress a known risk factor.”
“I suffered medically with huge anxiety and panic attacks. This wasn’t just a job I was being dismissed from; it was a career. A career I had built up over a long period of time. There were so many unanswered questions, how long were the mandates going to last, would I ever be able to return to my career, and as an over 50 yr old women, would I be able to find a new job. My future was now totally uncertain. I started each day at work knowing that I was one day closer to termination.”
“I was traumatised; I lost so much - home, had to sell belongings, sold my dog as couldn't find a place to rent that would allow dogs, sold my car, ended up paying storage only to have to sell or give those items away and since have had to rebuy when I moved recently.”
There were also respondents who, for a range of reasons—some coerced, others willingly—chose to receive the vaccine to keep their jobs, support their families, or simply to do what they believed was the right thing. Tragically, a number of these individuals reported experiencing adverse health effects following vaccination. These respondents described feelings of betrayal, abandonment, and being silenced after sustaining injuries they believed were the result of complying with the very policy that was intended to protect them. Their stories reflect a different, but equally profound, sense of loss.
“I withdrew from the community that surrounds the school I was working at - this includes the staff and the parents and students. The staff mostly were outwardly sympathetic - I had a reaction to the first jab […] Some children called me an antivaxxer to my child - as Year 6 students they're unlikely to know really the connotations. I lost my job as I didn't take the 2nd jab and I never returned to the community, never talked to any staff, parents again.”
“Pressured by colleagues, the {school] Board were understanding but I was not allowed onsite until vaccinated. Got vaccinated reluctantly, collapsed 3 or 4 days later and ended up in hospital. Stayed in hospital for 3 days.
[diagnosed with] myocarditis. Cardiologist agreed it was the result of the vaccination but went on to advise me to have the second one - it was obvious by his tone and face, he did not agree with the words he was saying.”
Propaganda and Censorship
During the covid era policies, governments around the world drew heavily on well-established, highly effective behavioural psychology. Strategies were applied through governments’ Behavioural Insights Units (BIT), which partnered with various regulators and numbered over 200 worldwide by 2019, including in Wellington, NZ. These tactics could direct public behaviour, using frameworks like MINDSPACE (Messenger, Incentives, Norms, Defaults, Salience, Priming, Affect, Commitments, Ego) to “nudge” people toward desired choices. It is inevitable that corporate companies with shareholders’ interests front of mind, funded and partnered with BIT. These highly effective, covert marketing strategies based on our emotions are leveraged by almost unlimited funds.
On reflection we can see many of these nudge techniques were effective for the covid era policies — yet largely these were invisible to the public, seemingly authentic. This raises important, ethical questions: Were people being informed, or steered? In a healthy democracy, education plays a vital role in helping people recognise the difference between informed consent and coercion. Teachers are therefore key in developing critical thinkers — ensuring individuals know how to ask questions, assess evidence, and explore multiple perspectives, irrespective of how these views may be labelled. But what happens when the messaging children (and teachers) receive is one-sided, emotionally charged, or framed in a way that discourages dissent?
Role models, student relationships
For many survey respondents, the most profound heartbreak came from the sudden and irreversible severing of relationships with their students. These were bonds built over years of trust, care, and shared growth—connections that formed the base of their professional purpose. Teacher’s spoke of the anguish of walking away from tamariki they had nurtured, guided, and advocated for. The abruptness of the separation left many feeling as though a part of their identity had been stolen. For educators who had committed their lives to the wellbeing of young people, the silence that followed their departure was devastating.
“When I left the centre, the children I was close to were very confused and upset it was totally heart-breaking [to be forced to leave]. When I walked past one boy in particular, he would cry out for me, so I had to walk another way.”
“Students I would see and had worked with for many years were confused with where I had gone to. I felt like I had abandoned them. This was really hard and probably one of the worst parts. I had all this knowledge to help with speech and language issues and nowhere to use it. I felt chucked aside and very confused.”
“As the Principal of a school serving a vulnerable and impoverished community, I dedicated myself to supporting students facing significant adversity at home or as a result of personal experiences. Over six years of leadership, I applied a trauma-informed approach and built deep, trusting relationships with children who needed consistency, compassion, and someone constant in their lives who understood them. Each morning, I made it a priority to connect with them in their classrooms—ensuring their needs were met and creating the emotional safety required to minimise behavioural challenges throughout the day. They knew I cared, and they, and their whanau trusted me. I was present during moments of crisis, helped them regulate when they were triggered, and advocated regularly for them.”
The vaccine mandate not only forced many dedicated educators out of the profession but also volunteers and students. Even school children, undertaking voluntary roles during lunchtime supervision were mandated to take the vaccine. Were they able to provide informed consent? The vaccine mandate revealed a troubling undercurrent within the education sector - one marked by judgement, exclusion, and unprofessional behaviour. For teachers who did not vaccinate, the consequences extended far beyond job loss. Many faced isolation from colleagues, were subject to whispered and explicit criticism, and in some cases, endured overt hostility. These experiences undermined professional relationships, eroded morale, and left lasting emotional scars. What should have been a time for compassion, respectful dialogue, and ethical conduct became, for many, a period defined by division and silence. This has left some with a deep sense of betrayal, permanently affecting their sense of belonging and belief in the sector’s values, while also leaving a quiet but persistent doubt about their place within a profession they once held dear.
Overview of Findings
This Submission and the research that supports its evidence, was created, analysed and presented entirely by volunteers, with no funding, advantage or conflicts of interest. The findings confirm there is an urgent need for further comprehensive, in depth, independent investigations into the areas we have presented. To summarise our Submission, we have presented evidence of the following eight key points:
1. Most of the teachers and other education staff who participated in this survey were mid-end career, highly qualified professionals, who were forced to leave their jobs unwillingly because of the mandates.
2. The appalling ways teachers were unfairly discriminated against, shunned, censored, shamed and bullied by their colleagues and others.
3. How informed consent procedures were ignored and the procedures for attempting to obtain an exemption from the mandates were flawed, corrupt or completely absent.
4. A summary of the unethical manipulation and coercion deployed by the Government’s ‘Nudge Unit’, which used behavioural science techniques of propaganda, censorship and subliminal messaging to scare the population and force compliance.
5. Many of the teachers mandated out of their work have still not been able to return to that work. The qualitative and quantitative data presented here have shown this could be because of ill health, continued vaccine policies in some roles, a sense of distrust, shame or fear of a repeat of the traumatic experiences they lived through.
6. The huge personal and professional costs of the Government’s covid era policy decisions, where individuals have been bereaved or physically harmed, families divided, colleagues lost valuable expertise and people have suffered trauma that remains unacknowledged and unaddressed.
7. Our education system is in crisis with considerable damage ongoing as a result of the covid era decisions and policies. Indeed, New Zealand society in general remains extremely divided and traumatised because of the unfair, unjust and unethical vaccine mandates.
8. NZTSOS has identified many challenges experienced by member participants as highlighted in this report and despite the themes summarised above. But a spirit of resilience and transformation continues to inspire us to have hope in positive outcomes.
You can read the whole Submission (pdf) here (82 pages):
My colleagues and I undertake this type of support and research work for free. Please Buy Me a Coffee to make a one-off contribution so I can pay it forward. Thanks.
Thank you so much for this very important mahi - many, many hours of voluntary work, well written and summarised. I am a self-employed adult education teacher (semi-retired) and relate to much of the experience you outline. In my 11 page submission, I focussed most on the psychological and sociological impact, as that is my area of expertise, and on evidence-based, trauma-informed suggestions for the future. Happy to share if it would be useful? Is there any way I can help?
Thanks for posting this Ursula. I would agree wholeheartedly with the following.
'''(although I’m an optimist at heart), but rather about ensuring this important evidence is ‘out there’ and on the public record for future generations.''
These are crimes agaist humanity.
''Pressured by colleagues, the {school] Board were understanding but I was not allowed onsite until vaccinated. Got vaccinated reluctantly, collapsed 3 or 4 days later and ended up in hospital. Stayed in hospital for 3 days. [diagnosed with] myocarditis. Cardiologist agreed it was the result of the vaccination but went on to advise me to have the second one - it was obvious by his tone and face, he did not agree with the words he was saying.”